Monday, March 28, 2011

Nature Vs. Nurture

Anybody who has taken even the most basic of psychology courses knows what nature vs. nurture is, but in case this isn’t you I will briefly explain it. Nature vs. Nurture is the likelihood of genetics or environment impacting the person you become, it is a debate that is normally right down the middle.

The normal way to test this is to find siblings whom were split up at a young age for whatever reason, and to compare their personalities. Think “Parent Trap” type thing.

I was never sure where I stood on this until I began to assess my own life. When I was around the age of 5, for whatever reason, my mother gave me to my cousin. At the age of 7, my cousin adopted me. I was with her until the age of 13, when due to some ignorant, and devastating circumstances, got given back to my mother. The main learning phases I was with my “step mom”, however my older brother was still with my biological mom. With me so far?

I still live with my mom, and honestly am to the point I can’t wait to get out. My brother thinks this lifestyle is completely normal, while I see the flaws in it. My environment influenced me deeply in the younger ages, because my personality, my intelligence, my motivation, and much more are different than my brothers. My brother is just like my mother, however I see very few similarities between myself and my mother. Of course there are a few, as genetics does account for a minority, however the majority comes from environment, and trust me, I am living proof. My mother and my brother have always been very obese, however I stayed very active the whole time I lived with my step mom, and when I moved back in with my mom I was normal weight. However the pounds quickly packed on, because I was always told I was anorexic, and was told I wasn’t eating right, because I didn’t finish my plate. Their favorite dinner is 3,000 calories for a bowl, I wonder why I didn’t finish it [/sarcasm].

The other day I asked my step mom a little about my childhood from where I couldn’t remember. I was greeted with some shocking, and upsetting facts. When I was 2 weeks old my mom was mixing jello packets into water, and putting it in my bottle and giving it to me. At 3 months old she was giving me mashed potatoes off of her finger. When my brother was 14 he went to school with an empty bread wrapper full of Little Debbie snack cakes, as his lunch. She had packed it for him.

Now? My brother goes through a box of nutty bars in one sitting. He is 100% addicted to sugar, and eats it nonstop. He is also over 300 pounds. You are telling me this is genetic? No. It stemmed from how he was raised, and the fact that I recognize this is wrong, that stems from being raised in a completely different environment.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

April’s Plan of Attack

As many of you know on March 5th I gave birth to my first child, Demetri. After a week or two at home, as I began to heal, and the swelling from the fluids at the hospital went down, I immediately lost the pregnancy weight. Well, I didn’t gain during pregnancy, so I lost the baby weight. I was down to 198, which is the lowest I have been in over 5 years, and I was super excited. However, in the past week I threw most of the work away, and am up to 202, which is still low for me. My normal weight is between 215-220. However, it still upset me, because I never wanted to see a 2 behind my weight again. However, I am not going to worry about it for the rest of March, I am not going to eat horribly, but am not going to obsess over the number. In April, my plan begins.

 

The plan:

  • 64+ oz of water everyday
  • Stick to meal plans. These are not calorie counted, but are better than sporadically eating, and eating things like donuts and cookies and potato chips.
  • Start introducing physical activity in, without overdoing it.

These seem very doable. I am unsure how to introduce physical activity in, as I am still not supposed to lift more than the weight of Demetri, and am supposed to try not to “overdo” things, however I am unsure what overdoing it is. I know walking around Wal Mart is enough to put me in excruciating pain, however I want to be able to take walks, so am wondering if the pain is just something I will have to deal with. Maybe just a walk a day, but then I have to be sure I have someone with me.

 

Last week I had a WIC appointment, and was informed that my iron was low, they also gave me my blood pressure numbers, which as a CNA I know was low. My iron was 8, and my blood pressure was 92/70. For these reasons I have felt overtired, and over stressed, not an ideal combination for a new mom whom is tired and stressed enough. Have been taking vitamins for this, but so far no change in how I feel. Am just taking Flintstone Vitamins (I’m a puss, and it has an adult dosage!), any other pills I should be taking to help with iron/overall fatigue?

Depressing Weigh In

William: 146.2
Me: 201.8

+3.8

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Initial Weigh In:

Today I weighed in for the first official weigh in since Demetri was born, and I actually liked the results. I do not plan on 100% starting the diet until April 1st, however I am going to try to watch somewhat. William is going to try to do this with me, as since we moved down here he got into a routine of eating junk, and has gained weight and became pretty unhealthy himself, but he is in no way overweight, he mostly wants to get his muscle back, lol.

The results?

Caitlin: 198.0

William: 146.4

I haven’t been under 200 pounds since I was about..15? 14? This excites me more than you can imagine. My goal until April 1st is to not let myself go back over 200, but this is an official weigh in, which means William and I will be weighing in every Sunday morning, even before April 1st.

The overall goal: 135 by January 1, 2012. Can I do it? We will have to see….

Initial Weigh In:

Today I weighed in for the first official weigh in since Demetri was born, and I actually liked the results. I do not plan on 100% starting the diet until April 1st, however I am going to try to watch somewhat. William is going to try to do this with me, as since we moved down here he got into a routine of eating junk, and has gained weight and became pretty unhealthy himself, but he is in no way overweight, he mostly wants to get his muscle back, lol.

The results?

Caitlin: 198.0

William: 146.4

I haven’t been under 200 pounds since I was about..15? 14? This excites me more than you can imagine. My goal until April 1st is to not let myself go back over 200, but this is an official weigh in, which means William and I will be weighing in every Sunday morning, even before April 1st.

The overall goal: 135 by January 1, 2012. Can I do it? We will have to see….

Friday, March 18, 2011

A Few Realizations

I have had a few major realizations in the past few days; the major one is about my water intake problems. When I was in the hospital recovering after having Demetri I chose water over diet coke. Multiple times, I chose water. William bought me a diet coke, and the nurse bought me a huge 32oz glass of water, I drank about 1/4 of the bottle of diet coke, and then downed the glass of water. When I moved in with William in Peoria we were broke, water is cheaper than soda, and if we couldn’t afford bottled water there was always tap water. I do not dislike water, at all. I actually prefer water, and love how water makes me feel. However, when at home it seems as if diet coke is my comfort zone. As is junk food. They help me feel comfortable with my surroundings, and with my family, being comfortable isn’t easy. Isn’t the weight loss journey about getting out of your comfort zone? But how do you do that when you already are so far out of your comfort zone in every other aspect in life? I am a new mother, a full time student, and trying to find a balance in life. Adding water in scares me, but I don’t know why. I’m already terrified as is, and am even more afraid of changing my life than I am of motherhood.

 

Another realization is how insecure I am. In the past 2 weeks here are a few thoughts that have entered my head more than once:

  • Taking narcotics to help with the pain from the c-section makes me a bad mother.
  • Making William take care of Demetri makes me a bad mother.
  • Making William take care of Demetri makes me a bad fiancĂ©.
  • The fact that I am not healed yet makes me weak.
  • The fact that my hormones are all messed up makes me weak.
  • Being scared makes me weak, a bad mother, and a bad fiancĂ©.

Those are just a handful of the thoughts that have entered my mind, part of me wonders if all of this is normal.

Anyway, this is all for now, those are just a few realizations I have had.

Monday, March 7, 2011

ABC’s of Me

Saw this from the lovely Karen and the lovely Katie J and wanted to steal it.

Age: 19


Bed size:Full size.

Chore you hate: All of em lol. Mostly dishes, however

 Dogs: Nothank you!

Essential start of your day: Kissing Demetri on the forehead and feeding him.

Fave color: Green

Gold or silver: Silver


Height: 5' 5”


Instruments I play:  Now, none, but I used too.


Job title: Manager


Kids: Demetri Ray


Live: Southern Illinois


Mom’s name: Cathy Lynn

Nicknames: None, really lol

Overnight hospital stays: The only one that I can think of is my c-section a few days ago.

Pet peeve:  The sound of popping muscles


Quote from a movie: “You’re a mean girl, Cady, you’re a bitch!” –Janice Ian; Mean Girls lol


Right or left handed: Right


Siblings: 5 brothers

Time you wake up:  Never had a time, but that will be changing soon.

Underwear: Haha, absolutely


Veg you dislike: A lot of em lol


What makes you run late: Facebook
X-rays you have had done: Too many to count!

Yummy food you make: Not sure, lol.


Zoo Animal, favorite:Hmmm…Chimpanzees lol